18-year-old demands mother continue to pay rent for her friends after leaving their shared apartment, mom refuses, causing tension between them: “I’m only paying for a house my daughter lives in”

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    WIBTA for kicking out my daughter's housemates when she moves out?

    "You're being heartless, greedy, selfish"
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    For the past 6 months my (43F) daughter (18) "Gracie" has been attending college and living in a shared house that I own. She has her best friend (19F) as her housemate as well as her best friend's boyfriend (19M) and another friend (18F). I pay around $1000/month (mortgage, taxes, insurance) for the house, and her
  • 03
    housemates split all bills which run about $600 / month (they have part-time jobs). Well, recently Gracie told me that she wants to go to a college near LA. It's always been her dream to go to college in SoCal. This will stretch her college fund very thin because the cost of college, room
  • 04
    & board out there will be a LOT more than what I pay now.
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    The issue is, if I charge them the full cost of the house, they won't be able to pay it. Gracie says it "wouldn't be fair to them" since she invited them to live there, and they are paying bills now. She said if I kick them out they would have to go back to living with their families (whom they don't get along with) in small, cramped
  • 06
    apartments. I told her that is not my problem. My position is -- I am paying for the house as long as Gracie is living there. If I have to pay out-of-state tuition, room & board in California, I'm not going to also pay for the house here.
  • 07
    B N M all option COLLEGE APPLICATION Personal Information Name (Last) Address (Mailing Address) E-Mail Address (Middle Initial) Home Telephone (First) (City) tate) (Zip) Passed? Yes No Other Telephone
  • 08
    Gracie got upset at me and said I was being unfair. She said I have the money and can afford it. She told me I was being an a-he, heartless, greedy and selfish. While it's true I could afford it, I would have to cut back on my lifestyle considerably. I am prepared to live frugally and make
  • 09
    sacrifices to send my daughter to college, but I don't feel I owe her friends a free house to live in, at my expense.
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    p.s. she would be moving to California in early August, so they have over 6 months to figure out their living arrangements. I would not be kicking them out immediately. WIBTA?
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    Turbulent Ebb5669 It's your house. Do what you want to do. Gracie has no say in it.
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    SafeWord9999 Let Gracie know if you're subsidising her friends living expenses you will have to reduce any help she gets
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    RENT
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    Rebelmoon88 NTA. You're already paying for Gracie's current living situation and are willing to stretch your budget even further to support her dream of moving to SoCal. That's incredibly generous. Her
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    friends are not your financial responsibility, and it's not "greedy" to expect them to cover costs if they want to keep living there. Six months is plenty of time for them to figure out a new arrangement. AND
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    Gracie's sense of fairness shouldn't come at your expense.
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    iknowsomethings2 Your daughter is the greedy and selfish one. She expects you to pay for her out of state college AND pay for her friends to live on that house, charity. . You aren't a
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    They can find another place to live together that is cheaper.
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    Tell your daughter if she doesn't like it then she can get a loan for her stay in California and you'll use her college fund for her friends. I'm sure she'll change her tune then.
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    Your daughter is sounding very entitled.
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    KarayanLucine ΝΤΑ Your daughter really thinks you should house grown adults for no profit? What you have is none of her business. Six months notice is plenty. They will be fine.
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    ImaginaryAnts It seems like Gracie has a very mistaken impression of your finances, if she thinks that her tuition and housing costs, as well as another $1000 a month, is money. that you can easily afford, while you say it will require
  • 23
    you to cut back substantially. It sounds like it is time for a reality talk with Gracie about your finances. And you can end it with giving her the choice you can pay for her friends' housing or you can pay for hers. I am willing to bet that once it is Gracie
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    being made to cut back on her lifestyle, she is whistling a different tune. As for the 3 friends - they are currently paying $200 each a month. If they bring a new roommate into Gracie's room, their share of the mortgage would be $250
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    each, plus $150 each for the bills. So $400 each for bills and rent. That's a pretty great deal that they should be able to afford, even with part time jobs. You say Gracie's friend is uncomfortable with another roommate, but her friend also seems to be
  • 26
    uncomfortable going back home or to smaller apartments. This is part of growing up. Rarely is one of the choices a free, huge apartment without roommates. NTA

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